


Scalpels and Unsteady Hands

by Taarbas



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Eye Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Needles, takes place just after that /one/ episode, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taarbas/pseuds/Taarbas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breakdown gets patched up after his run in with MECH. It doesn't go over too well.  </p>
<p>(Set after Season 1 Episode 11, Operation: Breakdown)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scalpels and Unsteady Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently not feeling well manifests itself as KO/BD angst.   
> (Also contains my hc that conjux bond sparks and as a result the sparks like to be near each other/bonded. Kinda like a soulmate type thing)

Breakdown always knew when Knockout had been pushed too far. His partner wasn’t exactly subtle, blowing up quickly and violently before cooling off just as quickly, but he did make an effort. But Breakdown always knew. And this was his lover at his worst. Normally steady hands reached out, cupping the blue mech’s face and tilting it this way and that. “Knockout, ‘m okay. Really. I am,” Breakdown laughed, trying to soothe the nervous medic. His hands fell away before Breakdown could catch one is his own, now trembling between silver thighs. He inhaled, working his intake in an attempt to swallow as he stared directly at the hole where Breakdown’s optic had once been. His sensornet was still down, Knockout having tried to inject him with a numbing agent the second he had limped into the medbay. Starscream had half dragged, half carried the larger mech, one wing splayed out to help support his back as the other sat ramrod straight, whether from stress or to help him balance with the added weight, Breakdown wasn’t sure. Knockout had been pacing, servos clasped against the curve of his lower back. He hadn’t even realized they had come in until Starscream had cleared his intake, cocking his helm towards Breakdown. In the time it took Breakdown to blink, Knockout had rushed from one end of the medbay to the other, snatched up a syringe filled with some sort of numbing agent, and rushed over to Breakdown, needle lined up with an energon line in his neck. It had taken a lot of convincing to get him to set down the needle. Then had come the nervous dancing around, serovs reaching out to start on fixing him, only to pause and drop before snatching up towards another injury. Starscream thankfully left when he saw it. 

“But you  _ aren’t _ !” He whined, clearing his intake and swallowing in an attempt to make his next words stronger. “Breakdown, you’re missing your optic. Y-You’re not okay, not at all. I, I didn’t look for you. I thought you were out on a drive. I didn’t even think to come looking for you-” Breakdown shook his helm, the simple gesture shutting the other mech up. 

“Can you fix me?” Knockout hesitated, looking at the hole in his helm and the gouges in his shoulder and chest. He nodded, turning his back on Breakdown to pull the tray of tools closer to him. Needle like fingers plucked up a scalpel, the flame igniting at a touch of Knockout’s fingers. 

“T-Tell me if you feel anything,” His voice shook. Breakdown nodded anyway, watching as his lover pressed the burning point against a crack in his wrist. The delicate wires and protoform could be seen underneath the blue armor, and Breakdown had to stop himself from shuddering. Knockout’s hands were shaking badly enough as it was, they didn’t need the help from him moving. He worked in silence, the only sound the burning of the scalpel and the occasional sniffle from Knockout.  

Breakdown watched him work, his spark thrumming in excitement at its mate being so close. Normally, Breakdown would miss the request to open his chest panel, exposing his spark casing and allowing blue tendrils of light to reach and grope for Knockout. It never failed to make his conjux laugh, teasing him and calling him an overeager child. Today, however, the request didn’t even show up. His chest panels stayed shut tight, Knockout’s servos brushing over them and working on a gash on his shoulder. His servos had slowly steadied as he worked, now only trembling when he worked on something small that required more dexterity. 

That all came crashing down when he got to his optic. “I need you to lie down. Please,” Knockout said, his voice strong and full this time instead of whined and half gone. Breakdown flashed him a smile and tried to wink, laying down and taking a moment to admire how quickly his lover had fixed him up. “You’re taking this way too well,” Knockout grumbled, walking around the operating table and dragging a stool with him. A few cranks of a handle had the table higher, the edge sitting just above Knockout’s thighs. He leaned over it, adjusting the light so it wasn’t blocked by his frame, and brought the scalpel to his lover’s cheek. “You may want to close your optic for this,” He warned, and Breakdown obeyed. 

The sound of burning metal started up, telling Breakdown Knockout had turned on the scalpel. One servo braced itself against his opposite cheek, helping hold his helm still as its twin traced over broken metal. Breakdown smiled, flashing his denta at his partner. “You’re shaking, I can tell.”

“Your sensors are off still, aren’t they?” 

“Yeah. But your plating chimes.” Knockout huffed out what could have been a chuckle, and

Breakdown  drank in the little victory. A request pinged, his sensornet trying to reboot. He let it, starting it down at his pedes and slowly turning on little sensors here and there. He didn’t let them get past low, keeping the broken places completely dark. It was risky, but he allowed the sensors in the right side of his face to turn on. Knockout’s warm palm greeted him, cradling his cheek as his thumb occasionally stroked across it. Breakdown bit back a chuckle. The usually ruthless doctor could be very gentle when he wanted to be. Something splashed onto his cheek, and Breakdown froze. Either energon had just sprayed out of his optic socket, and Primus did he hope it wasn’t that, or Knockout had some kind of liquid above him. An antiseptic maybe? Another dripped onto his face, right in the middle, and Breakdown realized it wasn’t energon. “Knockout? You okay sweetspark?” 

“Fine, fine. Why?” His voice wavered, thick and subdued, confirming Breakdown’s suspicions. He  _ was _ crying. 

“No you’re not. You’re crying.” 

“Well forgive me if I’m upset this happened to you!” He snapped, choking back a sob before sniffling. Breakdown cracked his optic open in time to see him shake his helm, shame burning in his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t snap at you. It’s not your fault,” He sighed, never once pausing in his work. “You’ve suffered enough.” 

“How bad is it?” That made him pause, lips pursing. “Don’t sugar coat it babe, just lemme know.” 

“I can’t save your optic.” Well, he had figured that much. “In fact, I don’t think I’ll  _ ever _ be able to get you seeing out of this one again.” Now that, that he wasn’t prepared for. His tank rolled, the taste of bile in the back of his throat a warning that he may very well end up vomitting. Coolant broke out across his frame, multiple stress warnings pinging at the same time. He dismissed them all. “I’m so sorry Breakdown. So, so, sorry.” It came out a whisper. “I can stop the bleeding. I can clean the wound. But it won’t ever be whole again.” Breakdown nodded, drawing a breath into his clenching intake. He was glad he kept his sensors off, it helped keep him detached from the goings on around him. Otherwise, he would have been shaking and sobbing long ago. 

“Do what you can, babe. I forgive ya,” To punctuate the joke, he reached up, catching Knockout’s free servo and giving the palm a chaste kiss. “Maybe it’ll give me some charm.” Knockout laughed, sniffling back tears as he continued working. 

“You’ve got more charm than this entire ship put together.” Breakdown smiled, letting his optic shut again as the scalpel buzzed against his face. “I probably shouldn’t be crying though. Not sanitary. Don’t we have goggles somewhere- ah frag it. I’ll sterilize everything and clean you, don’t worry.” 

“I’ll remember to roll in the mud when you’re done.” 

“Stop joking you aft!” He laughed, hiccuping as he tried to push down both laughter and tears. “I’m gonna slip with the scalpel and then we’ll  _ both  _ be in trouble.” 

“But I like being in trouble with you.” He paused long enough to bend down and press his lips against Breakdown’s helm. 

“Silence you.” 

Breakdown ended up laying on the table for another hour as Knockout dutifully worked over his optic, not letting him up until he had sterilized his entire person and wound bandages and gauze around the hole in his face. “Alright now, don’t look, but I’m gonna inject you with a painkiller. After that I want you to reboot your sensors completely. See how well it takes.” Breakdown nodded, shutting his optic as he heard Knockout prepare a syringe. He  _ hated _ needles. With his sensors down so low, he didn’t even feel the needle prick. “Okay Breakdown, go ahead.” He nodded, opening his optic and letting his sensor net completely reboot in one go. Sensation rolled over him, registering most strongly in the ache in his head and the taste of energon in his mouth. Otherwise, everything else was a dull throb or pleasantly fuzzy. 

“S’all good,” He said, sitting up and assessing the damage he could see. Breakdown had to admit, Knockout was a wonder with a scalpel. Only thin, spidery lines remained on his arms, otherwise completely closed up. They weren’t pretty, but a mech had to wait until they could be sanded smooth and painted over again. The cracks in his chest were mostly filled in, otherwise bandaged in a way that would coax the metal into bending back towards itself, where it could then be filled in. Knockout hadn’t handed him a mirror, but the smooth, clean metal of the cabinets proved to be close enough. Breakdown’s fans hitched, tank dropping and spark freezing. A spiderweb of splits and cracks ran down the left side of his face, slowly widening until they disappeared under gauze. 

He cracked. One second he was sitting on the operating table, right as rain, and next he was clutching his helm, plating clanging as he trembled and sobbed. The change was violent, leaving his sore helm reeling. The world narrowed down to a pinprick, flashes of sinister tools looming over him and strange men crawling across his body, plucking at wires and pulling at his limbs and reaching for his optic- “Breakdown! Breakdown listen to me, please!” Knockout’s voice was a lifeline. Breakdown found himself kneeling on the floor, servos placed over his face as he trembled and whimpered. He must have lunged forward when the panic started. Warnings flashed through him, systems kicking into overdrive and frame overheating. Pain stabbed through his helm, heat searing through him as his intake sealed shut. “No!” And then calmer, “No. Breakdown, I’m here. I’m right here. We’re in the medbay, we’ve fixed you up as best we can. It’s okay.” Breakdown coughed, intake opening with a wheeze as tears gushed from his good optic. His only optic. His servos groped blindly, finally landing on Knockout’s arm and clamoring across his plating until he found his shoulders. “It’s okay. It’s only you and me,” Knockout soothed, coming closer now that Breakdown was reaching for him. He knelt, coaxing Breakdown until his helm was tucked under his chin and Knockout was supporting most of his weight. 

“‘M sorry ‘m sorry ‘m so-” Breakdown began, servos digging into the metal of Knockout’s back as he burrowed his helm in his neck cables. 

“Hush. Breathe.” The command was simple, and Breakdown latched onto it, gulping in air as his fans worked to cool his panicked and overheated frame. He was glad Knockout was holding him up, or else he would have fallen flat on the floor. The room was spinning. A servo came up, stroking across blue plating before needle sharp fingers curled over his arm, content to just hold until he could calm down. 

“Why didn’t you come looking for me?” Breakdown regretted the question the moment it came out of his mouth. Knockout had no way of knowing, but in his panic fogged mind, he just spoke. Knockout didn’t miss a beat.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t even think to call to check in on you. I should have, and I can’t forgive myself that I didn’t. But I will now.” Breakdown swallowed, dismissing a few alerts and releasing his death grip on his lover. He was silent for a few minutes, content to just be held, before the tears that had been ebbing started up again.

“They didn’t even send anyone,” He whispered, picking his helm up to look at Knockout. “Megatron told Starscream to leave me.  _ He was going to leave me _ .  _ He was going to let me d- _ ” He choked off, jaw quivering as he buried his face back in Knockout’s neck. The medic was silent for a long while, stroking Breakdown’s back and cupping the back of his helm. 

“Don’t worry about him. I’ll handle him. You stay in the medbay, get better. I won’t have you going anywhere for a long, long time. He wants to put you back on mine duty? Fine. But he can wait until I’ve released you. But he’s  _ not _ sending you out alone again. Not without me.” His thumb stroked across Breakdown’s cheek, wiping away a few tears. “If you want to leave? Fine. But you aren’t going on any sort of missions.” Breakdown knew all the confidence and stubborn bravado wouldn’t actually protect him from anything, especially Megatron, but it was a nice sentiment. Breakdown sniffed, letting his chin rest between Knockout’s neck and shoulder for a few beats before he began to laugh. “Breakdown?! What’s the matter-” 

“Your neck! I-I just drooled all over it! It’s covered in tears and drool and coolant-” He cut himself off, laughing even harder. He knew he shouldn't. For one, it wasn’t even funny. Not to mention Knockout  _ hated _ getting dirty, in any way. To his surprise, Knockout laughed too, squeezing Breakdown closer and kissing the top of his helm. 

“You stupid- I don’t care. You’re here and you’re alive and that’s all I want!” He continued laughing, grabbing Breakdown’s face and dragging it up until they were optic to optic. “I love you so much you big oaf,” He laughed, leaning forward to pepper his face in kisses. Breakdown grinned, giggling through the entire ordeal as a few more tears dripped down his face. He pushed against him, toppling the smaller mech and climbing over to lay next to him. Their laughter slowly tapered to giggled before dying completely, their servos slowly finding their way to each other’s and twining together. 

“Knockout?” Breakdown broke the silence, his voice small in the empty room. 

“Yes Breakdown?” There wasn’t any hesitation, his conjux no doubt already ready to comfort him and bring him out of whatever panic he might have gotten himself into. Breakdown smiled, squeezing Knockout’s servo and wiping at his face with his free one. 

“I’m tired. Do I have to sleep in the medbay?” Knockout hesitated, clearly torn between keeping Breakdown in a more monitored environment and letting him sleep in their shared berth. Turning over, Knockout looked up and down Breakdown, thumb stroking over his knuckles as he considered. 

“No. You can stay in our berthroom. However,” He let go of Breakdown’s servo, kneeling up and slipping an arm under Breakdown’s shoulders and knees. “You shouldn’t have been moving as much as you were. In fact, you shouldn’t be moving quickly at all.” He shifted his weight, Breakdown’s arm coming around his shoulders out of habit as Knockout slowly lifted him off the floor. Despite Knockout’s much smaller frame, he was able to carry just about any ‘Con on the ship, Breakdown included. Hell, the blue mech couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times his leg was blown out in battle, or he started to bleed out, or what have you, and suddenly arms were under him and he was hauled up like he weighed nothing. Sometimes Knockout just slung him over his shoulder, taking off at a bolt into cover. Other times  he swung him over his shoulders, the wheels on his back helping hold him in place. This time, he kept him in his arms, carrying him like he’d seen humans carry brides. 

“My legs weren’t hurt ya know,” He chimed in, helm lolling against Knockout’s chest. It was really pounding now, flashes of light coming with it. 

“I know. But you’re hurt. At least let me do this for you.” Breakdown could read between the lines with ease, and nodded, optic slipping shut before Knockout had reached their berthroom. “Breakdown. Breakdown…” Knockout’s voice had him reopening his optic, looking around in confusion. A blue light greeted him, and he inwardly groaned, looking down at his chest. His panels had retracted, revealing a bright blue spark. Tendrils reached out, groping at Knockout. 

“I didn’t even get a request!” He groaned, letting his helm drop back against Knockout. 

“If I hadn’t scanned you so thoroughly, I’d worry you had a concussion. But nope, just needy.” The words held no bite, and Breakdown gave a lazy smile, shutting the panels with a yawn. 

“It misses you,” He yawned, the lack of energy making him a little more open. “Sparks don’t do well when there’s only half of it.” Knockout laughed, shifting Breakdown in his arms to punch in the code to open their habsuite door. 

“That’s the corniest line I’ve heard. And your first attempt at flirting back was asking me if I was a prime. ‘Cause with a face that pretty you’ve gotta be chosen’. Honestly babe, where did you even  _ think _ of that?!” The two shared a laugh, Breakdown shrugging slightly. Knockout’s smile softened, setting Breakdown on the berth as if he would break before climbing in after him, cuddling up against him and tugging the sheets over them. “Night Breakdown. Love you,” He whispered, nuzzling closer and kissing the part of his helm that came down into the middle of his face. 

“But it’s the afternoon!” Knockout cracked an optic open, the light giving the pillow a soft red glow. Amusement twisted his features, and Breakdown smirked. “Night babe. Love you too.” He butted their helms together, kissing right in the middle of his flat face before settling. He was asleep before Knockout could retaliate. 


End file.
